Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Mindfulness Jar: Helping to Understand How Emotions Work


image from Chasing the Firefly

On Tuesday I used a Snow Globe to demonstrate how emotions work; there is an increase in feeling (like the snowy flurry in the globe) and then gradually, like the snow, that intensity begins to settle-the cease of emotions is never instantaneous--which would be really great for negative ones, eh!?

Most children thrive on visualisations and hands on activity, which is why providing these elements really helps them to better understand things that they can not actually see. Emotions can be a tough one at times, we all feel them so differently! In my line of work, I love to give children tangible things to help convey a message. It helps wonders which is why I want to share this Mindfulness Jar concept with you. We use a snow globe at our house as we have always had one handy, but you can easily make a jar as shown here at Chasing the Firefly. You can search many other sites for inspiration but I tagged this one as I like her edit on suggesting the appropriate time to use the jar. Like the blog author, we use ours during times of anxiety. You will often find that anxiety can be triggered after intense feelings such as anger, so some parents who may fear a smash session, may want to wait until the anger subsides and it is clear that what is left is anxiety . All children are different as how they display emotions.

The most important thing that I needed to mention during our session was that it will be hard for your child to learn to be more mindful, if you are not! I do mindfulness everyday for at least 10 minutes (recommended as research indicates 10 minutes of Mindfulness shows results over time)--generally I get 20 minutes in before bed. So make time for your OWN private mindfulness and tell your children, if they are around, that you need to your mindful practice now and need some alone time. They will understand if they are practicing too! I also do short little mindfulness exercises such as what I demonstrated at our session with my children during the week. The key is to may it part of your lifestyle. Do not wait until your child is filled with emotions to practice; repetition when in a baseline state will make the technique easier and more useful when they really need it.

I will post some more about this at it seems to have been a big hit for everyone. I think it is great how you are sharing the concept with friends. Your children will be M.A.D. with other their friends as they share and demonstrate what they are doing.

Until next time,

Megan xx

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Mindfulness & Emotions

Tuesday, 14 April our MAD Children got together at Ted Horwood Reserve for an interactive talk about Mindfulness and Emotions. This topic was selected as Mindfulness has been a bit of a buzz word around adults, for good reason and there is a growing interest and research regarding the effects on children. Lachlan and I were particularly excited to share our experiences as we have many techniques we use at home (and in my practice with families) that have proven to be very beneficial for children and their parents.

We began our session talking about emotions, labeling them and understanding why we have them. Lachlan told a great little scenario about how even uncomfortable emotions, such as fear are really important. If we were to see a tiger sitting on the other side of the oval for example, our feeling of fear (no matter how horrible it feels) would help to try to keep us safe. In other words, our fight or flight response would kick in, necessary for survival. It is important for children to see how really important these feelings are, even if they make us feel icky at times.

Equally as important, we discussed how emotions work. Surprisingly, many adults do not really understand what physiologically happens. I demonstrated with a balloon blowing up visual, in which one of our MAD children drew a picture of her 'angry' face on it. The balloon represented the anger emotion and how we often feel like we too are filling up with so much emotion (air) that we feel like we could explode( we popped the balloon) and then we feel better. In actuality, emotions never come down that quickly. It is more like riding a bike up a hill, getting to a peak and then slowly coasting down. The visual we used was a snow globe. We shook it up to show how our emotions often make us feel all stormy inside like the globe, but after awhile the snow, like our emotions will slowly start to settle back down. I explained that it is the same for everyone--no matter how BIG or scary our emotions get, one thing is for certain, they will ALWAYS come back down. This is a powerful realisation for a child (and an adult too!) The look of relief and wonderment on a few of the children's  faces said it all. I could tell that knowledge was a relief for quite a few of them.

All the children then made a Feelings Box; a place to write or draw out their present feelings, when confronted with them where they can tuck them away. You can make this at home out of anything, a box, a jar, basket, a drawer--anything. Some children even like to just throw their unwanted feeling out the front door and that is fine. The helpful bit with all of this is the tangibility. The process of thinking about and representing the feeling on paper and having the action of tucking it away or throwing it out is tangible to them and it makes them feel like they have more control when they can actively process it. Some children may even like to shred their feeling but often there is comfort in them knowing that if they want the feeling back they can get it  from the box or walk outside and get it. It represents they have some control over how they interact with these feelings.

We then moved on to our Mindfulness Techniques, where things got really fun. I asked the children to do a little weather forecast of their emotions before we began. They wrote or drew it on a paper and stuck it in their box. We then did our first breathing and visualization activity with everyone lying on the ground in the oval. They visualised they were on their very own safe cloud which could be any size, shape, colour they wanted. The cloud could take them anywhere. They rested their hands on their tummies to feel their breath going in and out. This exercise was just a few minutes. Remember that Mindfulness for young children needs to be short. 3-5 minutes is probably the most to expect out of them unless they are keenly interested.

We also did a Mindful Eating exercise with a dried cranberry. I really enjoyed watching how focused the children of all ages were with this! They had to use all their senses to observe the cranberry. First resting it just in the palm, then using the fingers to feel it, followed by placing it on just the tongue before chewing. While chewing they needed to listen and feel and taste. They were really intense with focus and I was really proud of their patience.

Lastly we did a great Fox Walk. We tapped back to our ancestral roots, when we were hunters and gatherers. I challenged them all to tune into their instincts, ones that have not been used for this purpose for a long time. Mum and child, took off their shoes and socks to connect with the Earth and they learned how to walk like a hunter: heel first, then side of foot (as to be as quiet as possible) and so forth. They had to focus on their surrounds: the taste of the air, the feelings on their skin, the smells, what they could see and hear around them. Quietly they walked across the grass, paying attention to each soft and slow step, cool grass beneath their feet. We finished this off by doing the same thing with their eyes closed, trying to make their way to me calling them from somewhere on the oval. We had a lot of peekers but it will be a good one for them to replicate at home with a blindfold.

When I asked the children to report their updated emotions weather forecast to me most of them said that they felt different. Those that shared said they now felt more relaxed or calm. It was lovely that they had the chance to see that they can learn to do a few things to take control of what they want to focus their thoughts on; something I hope they will be able to continue to practice at home with guidance from mom or dad.

I will expand upon how we can support our children further with this in another post. Just wanted to give a quick little run down for those that missed out today.

Until next time!
Megan xx